It’s worth making an effort when writing your own vows

His and hers vow cards

Whenever someone says something beautiful to me, I replay it time and time again. In fact, if I could, I’d have those words made into lovely long, dangly earrings, and I’d wear them dripping from my ears every day. I imagine that I’d be even more inclined to do so with thoughtfully written wedding vows expressed by my favourite person in the world.

Your wedding day is a wonderful opportunity to give the gift of telling your partner just how meaningful your relationship is, how much you value him/her, and to publicly make promises to which you want to be held accountable for the rest of your life. If you think you’ll struggle with expressing your feelings in words, I am here to help.

Not too long ago, I was the celebrant for a lovely young couple; she had no trouble at all writing her vows, and she produced them wonderfully. He, however, really doubted himself, so one day, we arranged for me to visit the two of them. She popped out to the shops to grab something, leaving me to talk vows with her fiance. With his permission, I recorded the entire conversation. I asked him to tell me what it is he loves about his partner, how she treats special events like birthdays and Christmases, what it’s like going home to her at the end of the day, and how he intended to treat her for the rest of his life. In short, it was a conversation about his partner and their relationship.

When I arrived home, I typed up everything he’d said. Everything. Then I deleted the words we didn’t need, did a little rearranging, then sent the vows off to the groom. His response: ‘Wow, Bec! I wish I’d said that!’ And he had! They were both very happy with his vows on their wedding day, and they have some wonderful vow cards on which to look back in the years to come.

I attended another wedding recently. The bride wrote beautiful vows and emailed them to me so that I could prepare her vow card. He, however, said that he would ‘wing it’. And he didn’t. No one at that wedding would doubt that he absolutely loves his bride, but he had one chance to get it right and he didn’t.

Please do take advantage of any assistance your celebrant offers when writing your vows. Put some effort into it; your partner will appreciate it and trust me, your guests will as well.