How to personalise your ceremony
Kate and Lyndell’s mutual love of all things Harry Potter meant a themed wedding was a no-brainer
When it comes to wedding ceremonies, there's a general outline that's usually followed:
Introduction
Processional
Giving away
Address- telling your love story
Reading
Rituals/blessings
Monitum
The asking
Vows
Ring exchange
Good wishes/blessing
The declaration
Signing the register
Directions to guests
Mind you, I’ve never celebrated a wedding that included ALL of these elements, and even if you did want all of the above, there's no reason you have to adhere to the traditional order. You can throw out the script and start from scratch or you can take a ceremony format you like and customise it to reflect the two of you and your unique relationship. As long as the legal requirements are met (Monitum, vows and signing the register), I’m happy and you’re legally married.
One example of a truly personalised marriage ceremony was Lauren and Craig’s. Their first meeting was a result of Craig noticing the ‘raven-haired girl with the startlingly blue eyes who had just emerged from the depths of the pub’ and sending in his two female friends, his wingmen, to check her out, a fact that was included in their love story. After I’d told their story, I invited Craig’s two wingmen to the front and said the following while Craig and Lauren pinned wings (medals) to their dresses:
Sue and Sally (not their real names) in recognition of the faithful service you provided Craig when he charged you with the mission of bailing up Lauren outside the pub just over two years ago, with gratitude for the result of said bailing up, and for the loyal friendship you so freely give to both Craig and Lauren, they present you with the prestigious Wingman award.
While this was taking place, I played ‘Up where we belong’, the best known piece of music from An Officer and a Gentleman. It was uniquely them and totally fun. Everyone loved it.
Another example of a truly personalised marriage ceremony was Kate and Lyndell’s. Quotes from Harry Potter infused their ceremony, from what I said (I’m a Harry fan, too), to the vows the girls made to each other. Check out their photos to see their totally appropriate venue and reception decor.
Let’s just brainstorm some ideas for personalising your ceremony:
Arrange the chairs in a circle or a spiral or any other shape
Don’t feel that your attendants have to be the same gender as you
Don’t walk in the ‘traditional’ way; have the groomsmen walk down to meet the bridesmaids and accompany them to the front
Décor, décor, décor
Have a theme
Have flower dudes instead of flower girls. This was hilarious, and really set the tone for a fun-filled ceremony. Two grown men filled bum bags with eco-confetti and walked down the aisle, ahead of the bride, to the tune of Billy Squier’s ‘The Stroke’, pegging the confetti into the guests gathered on either side of the aisle.
Don’t be ‘given away’ or have both of you given away
It’s not only the bride who can enter accompanied by a significant other; you can both enter this way
Include significant people by asking them to perform a reading or be involved in a ritual
Work in a cultural tradition (We did this for Trinh and Eranja’s wedding. Eranja is from Sri Lanka, so we included a traditional lamp-lighting at the end of their ceremony.)
Have a ring warming, a sand ceremony, a candle-lighting, wine or wood-sawing ceremony (there are many types of ceremonies or rituals you might choose to include, and if we can’t find one, we can always create one)
Involve your fur babies
Involve your children
Have a post-vow toast (just make sure everyone has a full glass)
Write your own vows
Choose music that means something to you
Have your celebrant tell your love story
Once I get to know you and a little about what's important to you, I can suggest lots of ways to personalise your ceremony. I can't wait to talk!
Best wishes for your wedding day,
Bec x
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